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"It's kind of scary that you might find a certain fashion trend or musical style exciting only to wake up a few years later and wonder, "What the hell was I thinking?" We all have our skeletons and my big one is that, for most of my middle school to high school years, I was a hair metal fan.

I was completely possessed by the dark forces of poodle rock. I was seduced by their rebellious f**k-all attitude and enthralled by their dedication to "partying!!" Even though my mom wouldn't let me grow my hair long or wear an earring, I felt that my soul was aligned with Nikki Sixx, C.C. Deville, Taime Downe, and Izzy Stradlin. It's kind of difficult at this point in my life to figure out what it was about certain bands that made me think they either rocked or sucked when, in retrospect, they all seemed to suck. I guess either the subtle distinctions were lost over time or I was more discriminating as a teenager." [Via pitchforkmedia]

Sweaty men wearing make-up and leather pants?

In this article, writer Kevin Barnes takes you through his best and worst 1980's hair metal bands. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks David Coverdale (Whitesnake) and Kip Winger (Winger) were creepy. When Whitesnake was popular, David Coverdale looked like my dad with long hair. He was too old to be part of the whole heavy metal rebellion. Plus the name of his band was Whitesnake. Have you ever thought about that one?

While Coverdale was old and and creepy, he wasn't alone. His younger creepier counterpart was Kip Winger. If you think hard, you might be able to remember a few MTV videos where Kip sexually strokes his bass guitar and even licks it with his tongue. What exactly was that all about? I still think it's funny that Winger's biggest song, "Seventeen," was basically a pedophilia anthem. I hope Kip has a seventeen -year-old daughter now and the 57-year-old trucker she's dating whispers those lyrics in her ear every night.

If you've mentally blocked out the lyrics to "Seventeen," don't worry, I just Googled them for your convenience. Enjoy!

she said I'm only seventeen,
but I'll show you love like you've never seen
She's only seventeen,
daddy says she's too young,
but she's old enough
old enough for me

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Labels: music